Letting Go of Toxic Parents: Why So Difficult? And How Can You Succeed?

3 min read

It’s not always easy to accept the fact that you might have toxic parents.

However, acceptance is the first step in letting them go.

Toxic parents are critical and want to be in control. They easily manipulate your choices and can hold you back from who you truly want to be.

Succeeding in letting go of your toxic parents can be difficult. After all, they’re still your parents. And separating the idea of loving your family but, at the same time, getting away from people who are doing you harm can be a battle for adult children.

Though, it’s not impossible.

Learning more about how to break free from your toxic parents can help you to take control of your life.

Why Is It So Hard to Let Go of Toxic Parents?

If parents are manipulating a child and have caused psychological problems for them as an adult, it might seem like the only thing they’d want to do is get as far away from them as possible. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Again, they’re still your parents. Despite everything they may have done to you, you may feel guilty when you think about trying to let go of that relationship.

Sometimes, toxic parents may have manipulated their child enough so that even when they’re an adult, they can’t make decisions for themselves. Adult children who were raised by toxic parents tend to do whatever those parents want or do things the way the parents want them to.

So, whether it’s an issue of heart or mind, letting go of these toxic patterns isn’t easy.

How to Successfully Stop a Toxic Relationship With Your Parents

Letting go of toxic parents doesn’t mean you have to shut them completely out of your life. In some cases, that may have to happen. In others, it’s simply a matter of breaking the cycle of dysfunction.

The bottom line is: You need to be the one to decide what your relationship with your parents should look like.

So, how can you do that after years of dealing with psychological turmoil?

There are several steps involved. But, if you’re willing to put in the effort, you can break free from the toxicity of your relationship.

Some key factors include:

  • Set boundaries with your parents (and enforcing them!)
  • Accept the guilt (and live with the discomfort)
  • Don’t try to change them—change what you can control
  • Take care of yourself first
  • Surround yourself with supportive relationships
  • Be prepared to exit the relationship if necessary

These are just a few strategies to keep in mind as you try to let go of your toxic relationship with your parents.

Of course, trying to hold on to any kind of relationship doesn’t work for everyone. It’s important that you understand that so you can be fully prepared to “escape” if you have to.

You Don’t Have to Stay

Toxic parents want to be in control of almost every aspect of your life. One of the best things you can do is to let go of your guilt for wanting [to] control your life yourself and start making decisions on your own.

You don’t have to run to your parents whenever they want you. You don’t have to spend every night of the week with them or give up something you want to do because they want you there. And you don’t even have to spend the holidays with your parents.

It’s your choice.

The sooner you and your parents both understand these boundaries, the easier it will be to guide your relationship into a healthier state.

If you’re having trouble breaking free from your toxic parents, even as an adult, don’t feel ashamed. It’s a difficult thing to do, no matter how strained the relationship is.

If you would like help with letting go of the toxic relationship, please feel free to contact me. Together, we can go over more strategies for success so you can take control of your life and find freedom.

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